The Waiting Room

This whole process started 7 months ago with what I thought was my optometrist carelessly flinging out the words, "You may have multiple sclerosis," after the odd blurriness and discoloration I was seeing couldn't be explained optically. At that time, I decided to wait, not willing to accept that something was not right.

I've seen quite a few waiting rooms in the last 6 weeks... 6 to be exact...some of them more than once. I have been doing a lot of waiting recently. I have discovered (ok maybe I already knew) I am not a very patient person, at least when it comes to dealing with medical issues. I will never understand how doctor's offices schedule appointments or how it takes what seems like an eternity to send medical files or MRI images. 

Monday, I spent A LOT of time waiting. I arrived at the neurologist's office 15 minutes ahead of my appointment time to fill out the necessary paperwork. I was quickly called back and had my vitals taken. I was taken to another room where another doctor who will be working closely with my neurologist came in and took a complete medical history. As I recounted what I had experienced with my vision during the summer and the symptoms I have been experiencing lately, I tried not to forget anything. Next is the interesting assessments of your reflexes where you feel like such a dork, limbs flying uncontrollably as you get poked and proded with all types of hammers, pins, and various other torture instruments. Then there is the running down the hallway... Talk about feeling like a fool!

The doctor leaves to consult with the neurologist. After about 30 minutes he returns to tell us that it will be about a 20-30 minute wait. We sit. We wait... And wait... And wait... An hour & a half later we finally see the doctor. He spends a lot of time with us discussing what our next steps are. First we needed another blood panel. Oh joy. This panel will test for vitamin D and B-12 levels, as well as  Sjogren's syndrome & take anywhere from 10-14 days to return the results. Good. More waiting. He also requested I have a CT scan to rule out sarcoidosis, a disease that has similar symptoms to those I am experiencing. So, no multiple sclerosis diagnosis...yet. We'll need to wait on the results before proceeding. 

So I wait. As I mentioned, patience is lacking when it comes to me and medical issues. But this time it is different. The previous Sunday, our pastor spoke on Christ's purpose in coming to Earth to restore all things. He illustrated is point by describing an experience he had flying to Dallas from Atlanta. The passenger before him had left an iPad in the seatback. He knew if he gave the iPad over to the airlines, the rightful owner would probably never see it again. He turned on the iPad that was not password protected. He was able to get enough information about her off of the iPad that he knew he could contact her when he got home. He opened her notes app and found a note entitled, "Save this: IMPORTANT!!!!!!" It was all of her accounts, all of her passwords, access names to everything, email, banking info, online accounts, everything you wouldn't want a stranger to find. He imagines the owner freaking out, calling banks and credit cards just feeling completely exposed. Father David got on the airplane wifi and sent her the following email...

"I have your iPad. I'm sitting on a plane in the air on the way back to DFW. I found it in the seatback. No worries. I'll get it back to you. Please know that it's safe with me. If you send me your address I'll ship it to you. I was able to piece together your information from the contents. I'm on the airline's Internet. My plan is to take it with me & to mail it back to you as soon as you send me an address.
I'm a pastor at a church in Plano, Christ Church. I can be trusted." She responds quickly to him, profusely thanking him and closing her email saying, "You are a savior."

He parallels this story to the gospel, and I find myself relating to this. Me, Cathy, waiting, completely anxious...insecure...worried... vulnerable...exposed...wondering what the future holds... Lumbar puncture? Paralysis? Blindness? Outrageous medical expenses? Wheelchairs? Incontinence?  ButI don't have to spend the time waiting in worry and anxiety. There is someone who's got my back. Because He loves me and no matter what the future holds. He can be trusted. And that is worth the wait.