30 Brings A New Journey...

Turning 30... it was always one of those things I dreaded, as if on that birthday I would officially become "old". In your twenties you feel young, wild, and free. Like you could do or be anything. I did a lot of amazing things in my twenties. I made life long friends. I lived in Europe. I graduated from college. I got an amazing job with amazing little people. I went to graduate school and earned my Masters Degree while working full time. I paid off my college and car loan. I met and married the man of my dreams. I endured various trials, some, in hinds sight, trivial, others seemingly unbearable. I became my own person, wrestling with what I believe, and making difficult decisions for myself. While these years were some of the most enjoyable and memorable of my life, they were at times chaotic and disorienting. You are an adult, but yet sometimes you want someone else to take the responsibility from you. You still hang on to the end of the teenage emotional roller coaster, while wanting you to be the adult your age says you are. The phrase "The Roaring Twenties" brings a whole new meaning. As I neared closer and closer to this monumental occasion, I began to realize that turning 30 doesn't make you old. It makes you new.

I turned 30. No pomp. No circumstance. No cake. No candles. Instead, I had doctors appointments, MRIs, blood drawn, labs run, lots of questions, lots of tears, lots of phone calls, and lots of reading. The weeks surrounding my birthday were scary frustrating trying exhausting emotional a new beginning. I have been diagnosed with chronic isolated symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis. That is a fancy way of saying, "You have some of the signs, but you haven't had enough of the symptoms yet to say that you have MS."

Multiple Sclerosis is an auto immune disease that attacks your Central Nervous System. Your immune system attacks myelin, the fatty tissue that surrounds nerves. This causes the messages your brain sends to your body through your nerves to be disoriented or interrupted. The symptoms I have experienced are occasional tingling in my right foot and the palms of my hands and a scotoma, or blind spot, in the middle of my right eye. This does not actually impact my vision. I had no idea it was there.

I am still in the very early stages of finding out about this disease, and what it actually means for me. There are still many unknowns, but one thing is certain, I don't have to walk alone. I have an incredible husband who has been beyond supportive. He is patient and understanding. He is helpful and honest with me. I am so grateful that our relationship is a product of my "roaring twenties" and he will be with me for the rest of our lives. My family has been amazing as well.  Calling to check in on me, sharing information and asking good questions, never pitying me. My parents encouraging with every new development.  My siblings listening, offering support and love. My small group, offering hugs and understanding. Each one of these amazing people supporting me in the best way, prayer.

But even if they were to all walk away, I know I am not alone. Isaiah 54:10 assures me of this, " 'For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you."

30 brings a new journey... one I never thought would be mine... but it is... and I wouldn't have it any other way.